提问：四稿在三稿的基础上进行了更加细致的修改，基本问题都解决了，如何可以让四稿改的更好？（就这篇文章而言，哪些方面还可以改进？）希望可以得到修改建议，谢谢！

写作中心工作人员修改意见：

Peer review：文章每段结构很清晰，主题句明确。但开头第一句我觉得与文章没有联系，放在这里很牵强，there’s nothing to do with ”Chinese ”。个人觉得第一段可改为 “从小到大我对英语写作世界的认识在不断改变 从感兴趣到反感再到感觉快乐的过程我学习到了xxxxxxx 获得了xxxxxx 具体过程如下xxxxx” 。

再就是主题部分的第一段，小学阶段，有些东西太具体了如一百字 四百字等等，just sounds like a pupil who trys so hard to write more words. Why don’t you just write “the demand back then was low” or something?  然后还有个问题就是句式单一，“when I entered primary school， when I got in senior school， when I ...” SERIOUSLY? Don’t you get tired? Or that’s what all you’ve got? 并且放眼望去全是 writing writing writing.  All about that cliché？把出现次数多的词用别的代替 哪怕是it that 这些代词也会好很多。

当然 以上这些修改需要用精炼一点的语言，但不能很好的表达自己是这篇文章一个很大的问题，读上去就感觉说来说去好几排字表达的意思用一句话就可以概括 并且叙事的文章时态一定要正确 这篇稿子过去式 完成时 现在时有些地方没弄清，往往一句话两个分句 前面用了过去式后面就没用了，就算我用“前半句是过去发生的事情 后半句是现在事实”来理解也说不通 it’s really confusing.

Hope it would help！

附原文：

English: Find Different Worlds through Writing

When we were young,we have a basic knowledge of writing and start to write an article in Chinese. Through many years until now, I have experienced  complex transition about writing and find different worlds through writing. The process that I change my views about writing is as follows.

When I was in primary school, I was exposed to writing. And at first, I felt it is easy to write an article, what is more, it only had to write about one hundred words, because it was in the beginning. The common question is writing through pictures. I think it was very attractive and can stimulate my imagination. I began to enjoy writing a little. My handwriting is good, I think this is an advantage of mine over the years. My Chinese grade is always ahead the class. So I am confident in my writing. When I was going to graduate from primary school, I had to write about four hundred words in the test’s writing. Because I like writing in primary school, it is easier for me. The present writing world for me is full of curiosity and love.

When I entered junior high school, writing score was higher than before, which meant writing is more important and I needed to spend more energy on it. Due to writing was getting worse and worse in my exams. my parents forced me to have a writing class on weekends in order to improve my writing ability. In that time, I really didn’t want to take a writing class on the weekend, I wanted to relax and play instead of studying, but I had to do it to improve my writing and gain a higher score. I began to hate writing. To my surprise, in the writing class, what the teacher taught made a great benefit on me. I learned a lot from her class. I learned many methods to write well and began to read the books she recommended to me. I fell in love with reading and writing. I suddenly realized that writing was no longer a soulless zombie, I saw its lovely side. What I read can be used into the article I write, which can make my writing more wonderful. Every time I finish reading a book, I’d like to write an article about the book, which included what I saw and what I learned. I associated with the pen, touch literature, and talk with writing. My face was no longer distressed, but happy for writing.Though I developed an aversion to writing, I eventually discovered a new beautiful and meaningful world through writing.

When I was admitted into senior high school,the writing score rose

again.At that time,I could write an article easier than before. I think this is because I fell in love with writing from my heart. Every time I had to write, I feel happy and excited. When I began to write that I could not help writing. I like accumulated beautiful sentences on my notebooks and made good use of them in my writing. I love writing, I regard it as my best friend,I enjoy the writing progress. I can find a happy and colorful world through writing.

No matter how old I am, I can’t stop writing. Because it has become a part of my life and bring a lot of interests, to my life.I will find the other valuable and different world in the future through writing！